I meet this Indian girl and she asks me what I do, in order to keep this anonymous we recognize each other by a nickname made out of our jobs. I think I'm on a blind date, with Pila; the nickname I made from philosopher. I think we hit it off great and then I go to visit her at her home by swinging in on a blanket tied around my wrist. At first the people in the home are amused and then they talk about how we would never work. She's a philosopher and I measure giants. I sadly walk away leaving my backpack on the hillside and ski down the grassy hill. I return later to get my backpack to see that people are filming something. I get very angry because they moved my backpack and I yell out. One of the guys from the comedy group that's filming asks me whats wrong. I tell them, where is my backpack? I just had to break up...with this very nice girl...after swinging from 8 blankets...the backpack had gargoyles... He cuts me off at "gargoyles" going "Oh god I'm sorry, but you have to understand what a find that is. I haven't had those in ages, gummy gargoyles are so awesome I couldn't resist!" he says that he moved my backpack not far from here. I tell him to hustle or I'll kick him in the shins. I wake up.

kuroneko312: flashing lights on July 10th
at studio b
:D
39 minutes
2:26 PM me: lol planning WAY ahead much?
2:27 PM kuroneko312: what? :D
2:28 PM me: haha oki
kuroneko312: THERE BETTER BE FUCKING RAVE-JUICE THIS TIME!
me: O.o
kuroneko312: I demand my glow-stick illuminated, ziploc bag contained alcoholic beverage
it's only fair
me: of questionable origin
2:29 PM ...oh mike you have such high expectations of things
kuroneko312: hahaha
don't i take you to such nice places?
"Sharlene, walk faster. This is where all the muggings and rapes happen"
2:30 PM me: yes I have new standards for date locations thanks to you
kuroneko312: XD
your boyfriends should thank me
monetarily
2:31 PM me: I prefer they do it with sexual favors to you and I man a video camera profiting from it
I mean what?
kuroneko312: as long as I'm not the one bending over, I think I can accept that
you need to start dating hotter guys then
my standards are high sharlene
2:32 PM me: haha "you're really sweet, but you don't have my friend's seal of approval, so no"
kuroneko312: hahaha
2:33 PM "and by seal of approval, he means he doesn't want to bang you"
me: hahahaha
Sorry mike, I don't think I can bag Hugh Jackman
2:34 PM kuroneko312: damnit sharlene!

I have told myself that if certain things didn't happen this year, it would be time to move on. Things just aren't happening so its time to do something about it. I have always been of the philosophy that if events are meant to happen, they will happen. Which leaves me without much control of my destiny. But I realize, simply opening the door of opportunity is the best that I can do and whether I'm met with open arms or velvet ropes is simply the effect of my cause.

I have been talking to many people about the next move in my education/career. The differences in degrees has been brought to my attention and the simple words "I hope that we can work together in the future" has justified all the work that I will have to do. Those connections have been made. Whether or not I will be able to withstand the madness to come is truly unknown.
I will continue my escapist behavior in my tiny apt. If I was meant for other places, they would have happened. However the current problem has and always will be money and ephemeral nature of my life. But as is the problem with many, if I do not mobilize now, stagnancy is a creeping virus.

However it is time for a year in review.

While filling out my time sheet, I realized that I had been awarded my personal days back, which can only mean one thing. I have officially been at my job for an entire year. I have been counting dots, playing too much tetris/bejeweled/jetman, and occasionally computing for a year. I haven't really learned anything pertinent though. Isn't that what these years off are supposed to do? be the equivalent to a master's according to some grad schools? Preposterous! However the getting paid bit is pretty sweet.
I've been in charge of 3 projects, written up their methods, done the statistics and graphs for them all, and been put in charge of hiring someone else under me. That's pretty cool I think. I have yet to actually work with people though, which I hear is necessary for my field.
I don't know, there is a person here who has been working for 5 years and swears every year that she will take the MCAT and continue on with her life. I REALLY don't want to be doing that. So I'm going to allow this cosmic kick in the ass to get me on my feet. I think I've enjoyed the lack of true responsibility for a while, and if I tack on an end it motivate me to actually fulfill dreams and ventures before the career.

eh this is long, however NO CUT FOR YOU

"Freud once said, in a brief moment of modesty that 'we must lay down our arms; psychoanalysis has nothing to offer in uncovering the mystery of creativity'; he also just didn't get music either" ~Dr. Richard Kogan

You are my hero

I just went to a grand rounds presentation from a Julliard graduate pianist and an M.D. accredited psychiatrist. Probably partially explained by my undying affection for diagnosably tortured artists, I have and always will believe psychosis gives a relative clarity through the creative veil. A dire crusade against over medication is fueled by the belief that it mutes creative genius. But today what was pointed out to me was that Schumann (bipolar composer) begged for all doctors for something to take away the auditory hallucinations; Artists will do anything to create the masterpiece "even destroying other people's lives" (Kogan). Arguments for either idea often forget that people are cognizant beings and need both options open to them.


Moving performance, moving diagnoses, and moving ideas; I'm so content right now


also a link if you care
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_DmRi3HxkI

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
face

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
err dusty red? maroon? what is that color

4. Do you plan outfits?
well not for work...but at night I have to have some idea what I'm going to wear

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
gross, full, bored

6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
an eraser

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Someone was showing me that they had modded their tank to a blimp that shoots nukes...

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
not really, it is work

9. What are you craving right now?
exercise

10. Do you floss?
when I remember

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
err green beer

12. Are you emotional?
sometimes, I have my moments

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Can't say I have actually

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
I licks it

15. Do you like your hair?
I'm pretty content with my hair

16. Do you like yourself?
most of the time

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush
I don't think I'm that patient of a human being

18. What are you listening to right now?
Alien Ant Farm

19. Are your parents strict?
haha well not NOW

20. Would you go sky diving?
I did, was a good time

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
I love all cheese

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Yup.

23. Do you rent movies often?
thar be this INTARNET thing....

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
There be lots of shiny things

25. How many countries have you visited?
NONE because I'm faily

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
not in like, years...unless drunk dialing people from a friend's phone counts...thats funny

27. Ever been on a train?
to the grand canyon!

28. Brown or white eggs?
I should eat more eggs, I'm rather bad about that

29.Do you have a cell-phone?
jah

30. Do you use chap stick?
Addictions are bad, so I have like 8

31. Do you own a gun?
no, I will inherit a bunch though

32. Can you use chop sticks?
oh yes

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
yea to be fed to death

34. Are you too forgiving?
I'm moving toward ambivalence these days

35. Ever been in love?
I'm pretty sure

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
I have no idea

37. Ever have cream puffs?
I loves creme puffs

38. Last time you cried?
I...don't remember

39. What was the last question you asked?
why are the tuna dying?

40. Favorite time of the year?
springy!

41. Do you have any tattoos?
no I've just watched a lot of people get them

42. Are you sarcastic?
Oh just a tiny bit

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
yea...that's a random question to ask

44. Ever walked into a wall?
yeah and an open door

45. Favorite color?
I like patterns

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
oh yes lots

47. Is your hair curly?
nope

48. What was the last CD you bought?
an anamanaguchi lp

49. Do looks matter?
well to an extent

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
depends on the situation

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
well because its an iphone

52. Do you like your life right now?
life is dandy right now

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
no, I need darkness

54. Can you handle the truth?
YOU CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

55. Do you have good vision?
I'm blind, like pathetically blind

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
oh I don't hate people

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
not a whole lot actually

59. What are you wearing?
um work clothes?

60.What is your favorite animal?
BUNNY!

61. Where was your default picture taken?
oh right I stole this from facebook...

62. Can you hula hoop?
I can, doesn't mean I will

63. Do you have a job?
from which I am filling out this survey

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
foood

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
yea

WHEN FILLING OUT THIS NOTE ON YOUR OWN, PUT A SONG TITLE (OR LYRICS) IN THE TITLE BOX THAT APPLIES TO HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW OR PEOPLE IN IT
>< why does the survey yell at me?

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=cat1_gallery_15&listing_id=22836364


NOOOOOOO they be gones forever!

birthday message from cait:

"happy birthday, I meant to call at 12 your time but I forgot, because I don't love you that much. I'd sing to you, but I don't feel like exerting that much energy, so I'm singing to you in my mind. I'm not sure what you're doing, but pretty sure you're sleeping, having dreams... I had a dream last night, that I was in a weapons shop and we were talking about fencing and buying swords so I grabbed a bunch of swords and I rode out on a giant dog that smelled like the ambercrombie fitch cologne. Yeah, that was last night, I've been on the phone for like 2 minutes, um happy birthday bye!"

mom: its tuesday
me: and?
mom: you're drinking again? you need to stop this, I fear for your liver. I think you could die of liver failure when you're older
me: you appear to be under the impression that I want to live long

kristen: like horny chihuahua's, speaking of sex objects...

me: so I'm not a real asian
keith: well its because your backpack needs to be filled with violins and math

abby: No I'm fine frank, I know its a big deal but I'll be ok
frank: this is not a roaming monster abby..
abby: hey guys, I got this!

It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Valerie.


sometimes its nice to know

Life is so fucking odd... I mean honestly how do I get into the situations!

I guess I'll never learn


However due to this weekend I'm sporting a healthy amount of bruises. My arm has a nice, ugly, "kinda turning yellow in places" one; there is one on my cheek from getting myself kneed in the face (yes that's right, I am responsible for smacking myself on a stationary knee); and I have one on each thigh from acroyoga practice.

but HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!

I'll prolly get more drunk and get more bruises.

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.

How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions: Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (X)
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (X)
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte (X)
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (X)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (X)
6 The Bible (X)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (X)
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (X)
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman (X)
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (X)
11 Little Women - Louisa May Alcott (X)
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (X)
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (X)
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald (X)
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck (X)
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens (X)
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Husseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (X)
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (X)
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude- GGM
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (X)
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen (X)
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (X)
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (X)
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (X)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac (X)
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville (X)
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (X)
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce (X)
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath (X)
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (X)
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad (X)
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (X)
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (X)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (X)
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo (X)

I feel real english majors will have more than me

day 1:

I have finished the power point presentation and the 4 graphs with error bars set in both the excel in sigmaplot, is there anything that you currently need me to do?

(signature)


response:

I HAVE A WACOM MONITOR!

(boss signature)


day2:

Congratulations! I'm glad to hear that your computer has been sufficiently upgraded. It sounds like a lot of fun. By the way, was there anything that you needed me to work on the abstract or perhaps the power point?

(sig)

response:

I WANT TO PLAY WITH MY WACOM!!

(boss sig)


day 3:

Since Vicky will not be around I was told that you would be able to help me conduct the second round of interviews for the new hires. Are there times that you would be around to grill the potential staff?

(sig)

reponse:

YAAAAAY

(boss sig)

my dad leaves text messages for me like they are emails, and sometimes they break my heart.

"Just thought I'd drop you a quick note to let you know that I'm thinking about you....sometimes I get melancholy and wish I could have done more to make your life better for you. love you very much and miss you,
dad"

and then the image text says

"because you said that, we're breaking up"


several comic projects:

my goal is 3 prints...
2 ring girl, an axel roxas, possibly the portal one
(guess that makes 4)
2 guest gifts to dresdencodak and pictures for sad children
monthly WoW submissions
hourly comic wait that happened

and HANGING AROUND COMIC CON
I shall jump Milo Ventimiglia

on top of trying to make something funny every 2 weeks
yea I'm keeping up lately, being busy woot!

I think there was a point made

that I've never had normal...

that I'd get bored with normal...




heh, right on man


thoughts brought to you by song in my head for the week:

possibly going to Vancouver
for this presentation...


woooooo

For a good 20 minutes today I did not feel like my body was mine. It was like I looked down at my limbs and it was weird to see them move as they did. Nerves and sinews tightening and pulling joints against my will. It was a complete disconnect to the point where I felt the eyes in their sockets and they didn't feel right. I felt like the aether of myself was trapped so tight in skin and bone it was screaming to be set free and slough off this shell. To run amok in the sky and skirt along the water. To exhale was a teasing of freedom, a gate it cannot pass...

...this is how I feel in an office...
...with no windows...



I've decided I'm made of phlogiston

cait: feel the heat?
me: your pain shall be twofold
cait: dance water, dance!
me: where...is my heart...
cait: you made me feel like i had a heart.
x P
dies.
me: XD hahaha GIVE ME STRENGTH
cait: BE GONE
me: ALL SHALL BE LOST TO YOU
cait: Clever little sneak!
me: FOR CHINA

On downtown A train

6 year old boy: I wanna sit my legs are killing me!
sitter: what are you talking about, you have young legs
6 year old boy: are you kidding me! *points to brother* Jake has young legs, he's 4! I'm 6 I have old legs!





a little later

*a preacher enters the train and talks constantly about god and stuff*
Jake: shut up bubber butt
Luke: stop saying that
Jake: shut up butt lubber
Luke: *to sitter* everyone on this train is annoying...
sitter: be nice
Luke and Jake to preacher: SHUT UP LUBBER BUTT




its "lubber" because that's how he said it, and I will never know which he truly meant :P

popped up on pandora a few days ago
and has been stuck in my head ever since